Show me GRACE!!!

This past week, God encouraged me. Maybe it is because I have been more keenly sensitive towards your responses after we discipline or maybe God just wanted to give me a little push to stay the course!!! Whichever it was, I was so grateful and wanted to remember it. As I stated in an earlier post, Daddy and I have felt very convicted to really place more energy and focus into your training. In some ways, we feel that we are backtracking for times we have let things "go" too quickly and it has been very challenging.
So....on Thursday afternoon, after a long day at school and a haircut for both you and Caroline, mommy decided to stop in one more store to run a quick errand before coming home for dinner. Each afternoon, I bring you a "snack" to eat in the car when I pick you up from school. This day, I had brought you peanut M &Ms and after you get a haircut, they always let you have a sucker. So......you had already had plenty of sugar. On our way to check out at the store, you spied the candy and asked for some. I said "no", explaining that you had already had plenty of sugar this afternoon AND that it was almost time to eat AND that we had a whole bowl full of Halloween candy at home still to eat.
You were persistent ( a character trait you have had since you were a baby) and more persistent and began to try and make deals (maybe you will be a lawyer one day). Finally, after hearing "no" at least five times, you began to stomp your feet and pout and fuss. At the time, I was praying God keep me calm and patient. (Normally, this is when I get frustrated and end up making a deal JUST for peace sake!!). After paying, Caroline and I proceed to walk out of the store and you refuse to come. So...we stood there quietly and just let you fuss and hold your ground...making a scene. Finally, once Caroline began to cry because you wouldn't come you began SLOWLY moving your way out the door.
Once outside the store, you continued to refuse to come. It was very dark at this point and there were many cars in the parking lot. I told you that I was going to walk to the car with Caroline and that you had a choice...you could either walk with us or I would pick you up and carry you to the car. In tears, you decided to come...once again at YOUR own slow pace.
Finally, in the car, you began to fuss louder and say. "I want that CANDY!!!!" I turned to you and said, "I have told you no and I am not changing my mind. If you ask again, you will lose your chance to have any candy the rest of the night." Not one minute later, you asked again. So, I told you, "That was your last chance...no more candy tonight at all." You lost it at this point. We had about a 10 minute drive home and you cried as loud as you possibly could and even said, "Mommy, please just give me a spanking!!! I want a spanking! Please don't take the candy away!!"
I felt very strongly at the point to hold MY ground and stand firm. We were close to home and you finally said, "MOMMY!!! PLEASE just show me GRACE!!!!" At this, I had to turn my head, so you wouldn't see my laughter mixed with tears. I realize you know what touches my heart... and this was it... however, I held my own...and inwardly, was thankful that you are beginning to understand the concept.
Once at home, I told you to go to the green room (which we have called the "fussing room") until you calmed down. You decided quickly, you did NOT want to be away from us and stopped the tears, but stayed right next to me as I began fixing dinner..sniffling. You finally said in a whisper, "Momma, does God always give you what you want?" At this, I bent down, hugged you, and said, "Oh, baby, no, he doesn't. He often times tells us "no". He knows what we need and when we need it. A lot of times, He knows something we ask for is not best for us and so He doesn't let us have it."
The first thing that came to my mind at this point, was my miscarriages and the extreme longing I had for a baby and how many times I asked God for the opportunity to have my own. I decided to use it as an example. "Honey, do you know what I asked God for for about 5 years and what He said no about all that time?"
"What?" you said.
"YOU. I wanted you so badly and asked God over and over for a baby. HE KNEW when Daddy and I would be ready for a baby and what we needed the most. So, He told us no for a long time. Then, when the time was right, He gave us YOU!!!"
You didn't say anything after that, and we moved on to the rest of our night. I, however, was FILLED with a grateful heart that God is at work in your heart and is putting questions like that in your mind.
Thank you, Lord, for the ways you work on my girls. Thank you for the ways in which you have taught me in my own life that you are FAITHFUL and KNOW what we NEED and when we NEED it. Thank you for disciplining me. Thank you for saying no to me. PLEASE, PLEASE continue to help Daniel and I know HOW to do this very same thing with Caitlyn and Caroline.