Love covers.......

Girls,

I shared something with momma today and I couldn't help but think of you. We went over to Granny's house to begin going through her furniture, clothes, pictures and sentiments to prepare to move her into her new home at Wellington Place. Granny has been living with Mami and Big Daddy now for six months. She is in the mid to late stages of Alzheimers. We have spent many days with her in those six months and even before. I hold these memories so close and I pray the two of you have memories of her as you grow.
As momma (Mami) and I walked through the house and looked in each room for things that would be suitable, we ran across old pictures..........pictures of when Granny was young--my age now--when she had young children. I saw myself in her. I listend as momma told stories of special moments as we looked through those pictures and then again, when we went through drawers and found items of her past. We laughed a lot, but we also were silent a lot and I wondered was going through her mind. This has been so hard for Mami to go through. A mother and daughter's love is so deep and strong.
When I dropped her off at home, I hugged her and cried and told her how MUCH I loved her......how much of who I am is so intertwined with her. Watching her go through this and take care of Granny proves to me, once again, how much I want to be like her.
Then.......sweet girls, on the way home, all I could think of was the two of you and how much I love you. How I hope we have the kind of relationship that I have seen with Mami and Granny...and the kind of relationship that I share with Mami. We will have our rough times...... I know. You and I are different in many ways, but we will work through those differences. I want you to know I am committed to that.
There are moments that I mess up and I feel that I have failed you..........forgive me for those. There are times I feel that I don't deserve you. I will mess up again and again. However, what I cling to is something an old friend told me recently......."Love covers a multitude of sins". None of us are perfect.......we never will be........but our love for one another is timeless and forever and it will cover us.
This life is so short........you will be putting me in a home before you know it!!! So....let's enjoy the moments.........they will go so quickly. I love you....I love you.....I love you.

Annual Gatlinburg Trip

Every year, after Christmas, we take off with all our family for a weekend together in Gatlinburg. We all stay in one big cabin and eat, rest, play games, talk, watch movies, and eat some more. It is one of my favorite weekends of the year. This year made year number eight and we had the most people we have ever had.... 12 adults and 3 children. Camille's parents went with us this year and we were so glad to have them. I didn't get a group picture this year, but here are a few I was able to capture. Making a gingerbread house..................

Waking up with Big Daddy!

One of your favorite things about the trip, is all the attention and affection you get from grandparents. (Really, it's one of my favorite things, too!)

We decided one day after breakfast to go horseback riding. Girls, you were both so excited, but when we got to the farm, Caroline, you decided against it and to stay with Mimi and Papa. Caitlyn, you rode with Daddy and did so well! It was good practice for learning to ride Dandy!!! Afterwards, you said, "I had such a good time, but my bottom sure is sore!" Mine was, too, babe. When we got back to the cabin later that night, you wanted to show the other girls what you did. So.........

Daddy made a great horse----they did this for about 45 minutes. Thank you, Daddy!!!!!

We had a wonderful time and are already looking forward to going back!!!!

Mealtime moments

I suppose it is because we are all somewhat still and focused on one another at the dinner table, but mealtime seems to hold some priceless (and rather profound) conversations. Here are just a few that have occured recently while we have been together.
Caroline, one night while eating with Wes and Camille, you looked up with a very surprised expression and said, "Wes! Your head moves when you eat!!!!" (Referring to the temples rising and falling when he chews!). Now, it is something we watch for often!!!

Caitlyn, I asked you to pray one night at dinner (I love hearing your prayers........). Caroline had recently been doing a lot of the praying and had been saying her "Superman" prayer she learned in school. We hold out our arms (like Superman) and sing, "We thank you God for giving us food, bless it, bless it." This night you were in a more quiet mood. You said you wanted to do the Superman prayer, so we all held out our arms. We waited..........silence. I asked you if you would start and you said, "Mommy, I'm praying in my mind tonight."

Finally, I had already gotten up from the table and was at the sink. Caitlyn, you were finished and were sitting with Caroline at the table, trying to help her get her nuggets down so the two of you could get dessert. Caroline wanted to try ketchup (you had just had it one other time). I couldn't see your faces, and all I heard was Caitlyn say, "Is it sour? Don't worry--you'll get used to it. Just keep trying it, you'll like it one day." Where have I heard those words before?

Springtime in January?

What a wonderful day it was on Monday--it really felt like Spring. So, of course, we had to get out of the house....and headed to the zoo. Aunt Amy and I thought Granny would enjoy it, too. We spend a lot of time with Granny right now.......I so hope you girls remember her one day. We have really done some special things together. Her life has taught me so much.........especially, as of late. She has Alzheimers and most days can't remember things for more than 2 minutes. But......she knows she loves her three great grandaughters. Thank you for being so kind and patient with her. Caitlyn, Mariana, and Caroline pose in front of the water......no, girls, there are no sharks in it.

"Build a Bear"

For Christmas this year, Uncle Wes and Aunt Camille decided to treat you to a "night out"! This was the first outing for just the four of you.....you even got to ride in their car (sometimes it's the smallest things). After a great meal at Chick-Fil-A (our family favorite fast food chain) and a hysterical conversation on the differences in how girls and boys snore, off to the mall you went. They took you to build your own bear...from the inside out. You got to chose it's fur, it's heart, give it a bath, dress it and name it. Caitlyn......you chose the name Snow White and picked the outfit accordingly...accessories and all! Caroline........you chose the name Sergio (we still aren't sure where that came from) and chose a beautiful wedding gown. Camille and Wes said you played with the bears the rest of the night! What a wonderful memory you made......and gave Aunt and Uncle a little practice for down the road!!! Here you are with your creations.

Tantrums

Caroline..... today was one of those days. We were at home and I was trying so hard to get all the "stuff" put away from Christmas, organize the laundry so we could have some clean underwear and socks, and catch up on phone calls. Caitlyn was as happy as a lark watching TV, but you are not much of a TV girl. You do well playing by yourself for awhile, but then you have to have some one on one time. Mommy has a tendency to want to get to a stopping point before quiting (however that "stopping point" never really comes, does it?) and I was frustrating you. Right about the time you were losing all patience, Daddy yells that a pipe has burst in the garage! That did it.........your tired little eyes filled with tears. When you are sleepy, and life gets hard.........the tears turn to yelling and down you go--arms and legs flailing all the while. You have trouble making sense of words and almost nothing will appease you. These tantrums can get to dear old mom like nothing else and today all I wanted to do was throw one myself. Sleep does wonders for the spirit.........so after a sticker and a hug from Daddy, you and I layed down...you still crying and me wanting to....but oh, how resting and being quiet can calm life. How I will miss "nap time" one day!

I did it!!!!

OK--Here goes......over the last year and a half I have so enjoyed reading and getting to share in people's lives through their blogs and (you all know who you are) have been inspired. I did not want to do one because I was afraid I wouldn't keep up with it. However, the more I thought about the way this world is changing........I realized I better step up a little and get internet wise.......for my girl's sake. This is my attempt for them....and me. I want them to have something to cherish one day that helps them know who they were, who I was during these years, and how very much they are loved. I don't want to forget this time... this joyful, tiring, curious, magical, frustrating, "wonder"ful, soul altering season of my life. I am quite afraid I will, without words to jog my already cobwebbed mind.
My sweet girls....I love life with you..... I love all you have taught me and all that you will..... I love the ways you remind me of "purpose" and hope. You are two of my most precious gifts from God..........I will never be able to fully thank Him for choosing you for Daddy and I . May these pages of your story be reminders of HOW treasured and unique you are...just because you are you.